Hypocrisy...

Well, here is a tough subject to address:  Hypocrisy.  What is it?  The feigning of beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess.  What in the world is feign???  Feign is to give false appearance of, or to pretend.  Also, feigning is a sham - something false or empty pretending to be genuine.  UGH!

Have you ever been accused of being a hypocrite?  Someone who double-dips, has duplicity or practices deception in their actions?  Someone who says one thing and does another?  I have.  Just this morning.
To be called a hypocrite by someone is quite humbling....and one I don't like to admit or hear coming from someone very close to me - especially my son.

Years ago, I heard someone say that the reason that they didn't go to church anymore was because it was filled with hypocrites!  I agreed.  There are many, many hypocrites in our world and in our society!  But, I also said this:  "The reason I do go to church is because I am a hypocrite!"  I know that may sound crazy, but it is the truth.  I had done and said things in my life that I wish with all my heart that I could say I have NOT done.  The truth does hurt.  But, truly, the real reason I do go to church IS because I know that I do and say things that I would like to stop doing and change going forward.  Church offers me a place to lay down my "feigning" and get real.  God offers me a new beginning every morning (and every minute) if I will admit that I have done wrong and want to change it.  I can only change what I am aware of and what I am willing to accept that I need to change.  So, how do I move forward from being a hypocrite?
Become willing - willing to admit that you sometimes do or say things that aren't really what you value. Live your values.  Show the example of what you want others to learn.  Do those things that are what you know to be true, honest, and right.

Philippians 4:8 says:  "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."
That's quite a list!  Can we do each of those things every minute of the day and every day of our lives? Probably not, but it is worth asking God to change us to be people of integrity.  People who admit when they are wrong. People who ask for forgiveness and make amends where and when they can.  And, when I ask God to change me, there is a difference that happens in my life.  Forgiveness is offered to us by God, at church and at the cross.  Forgiveness can be offered by admitting my error or wrong doing. Ask the person you have wronged to forgive you.  Humble yourself enough to show that you want to change.  Then, do it!
Forgiveness is offered to us by God when we tell Him that we have done wrong.  When we admit we have really goofed!  Forgiveness is something I need every hour of my life.
I John 1:8-9 says:
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Do I want my son to think of me as a hypocrite?  Certainly not!  But, it is a beginning of teaching him what it means to forgive another human being.  It's the beginning of showing by example how I would like him to live.  Not by my former actions, but by how God is changing me NOW.  Admitting our mistakes goes a long way in teaching the value of integrity.  Trying to hide my mistake or say it didn't happen the way it did would not teach the truth.  Be genuine.  Tell the truth.  Admit your mistake. Ask for forgiveness.  Move on and move forward.

How do you want your kids or those you love to think about you?

Exquisite sunrise.........

Have you ever seen an exquisite sunrise???  I did this week.  One of the pleasures of being an early riser, is that we have the opportunity to view God's best each morning we arise early!!!  The colors of a sunset are beautiful, however, the colors of this past Wednesday morning's sunrise was almost indescribable.  Here is my stab at that description:

Exquisite is showing a high degree of craft or excellence....also, exquisite is delicately or poignantly beautiful.  I love that word poignant!!!  Reflect on that a bit..........poignantly beautiful....ahhhh................YES!!!  Some say exquisite is even acutely discriminating (as in taste), but keenly intense.  What would you say if you saw one of the most brilliant and exquisite sunrises of your life???  I wish I was a photographer and could paste a picture of what I saw the other day.......it absolutely took my breath away!!!  There were thunderstorms brewing, the wind was blowing, the clouds were changing minute by minute as I drove toward the horizon and the colors we unbelievable - ethereal may be a better description!!!  They WERE absolutely heavenly!!!

It was truly a spiritual moment for me as I witnessed God's presence and contemplated His magnificence once again.  That Divine Creation that is set in place each morning and says goodnight each evening is one we should take note of often.  So many days, we get caught up in running errands after work or after school, taking care of this and that and we forget to look up and all around at the Divine Majesty that surrounds us every day.

Look for exquisite, poignant, ethereal things this week....it only takes a few seconds, but the after affect lasts a lifetime!!!

An anchor for my soul..........

As we approach the end of summer and the beginning of the seasons changing once again, I find myself reflecting on what holds my life together.  What anchors me?  What allows me to be held or kept in a place of peace and/or contentment?  What holds me to a specific harbor, if you will? 

An anchor is a metal device that is attached to a vessel and cast overboard to keep the vessel in place.  To be anchored is to be held or to hold onto.  If we are talking about a ship, it is many times anchored in a harbor or moored in a specific location.

What location are you in at this moment?  Are you in a place of peace?  Contentment?  Calmness?  Tranquility?  Do you feel composed?  Do you have serenity in your soul?  What causes that in a person's life?  As you can imagine, there are many, many answers to those questions and I hope you will investigate and find your own answer....

For me, the answer is found in one of my favorite Scripture verses in Hebrews 6.  This verse confirms where my soul anchors itself to and what gives me supreme peace amongst a world torn with suffering.

Hebrews 6: 16-20 says:
"Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument.  Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath.  God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.  We have this hope as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure.  It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.  He has become a High Priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek."

Does that verse speak to you in your soul?  Do you have hope?  Do you have a firm and secure place to anchor your soul?  Think about your answer and reflect on what harbor you may be in at the moment.

I believe there is an anchor for each soul........and, I know there is something that holds me safe from winds of adversity, sickness, fear, doubt and the troubles of this world.  There is Someone who holds me close.  Someone who never leaves me nor forsakes me.  And, that Someone is Jesus Christ.

I pray each of you will find this peace and comfort.  I pray you will find this anchor for your soul.  It is an incredible "knowing" that I am home where my "True North" is and my soul belongs.

FUN!!!

FUN - that's right -fun, pure enjoyment, pleasure, amusement, and merriment!!!  What in the world is merriment???  Be Merry!!! Find something that is hilarious and feel the fun loving moments of laughter!!!  Frolic - go outside and run wildly through a field!!!  GO have some fun today!!!  That's right - go DO something fun, GO somewhere fun, or do something WITH someone who is fun!!!

Pure fun..........what does that look like to you???   If you can't even remember - you are PAST due - go for it!!!!!!!!!!!

Go somewhere new, laugh, skip, giggle, or tickle yourself until you turn blue!  Take a day off soon and go to the closest amusement park!  Get on that Roller coaster or water ride just to laugh and scream all the way!!!  Go to a regular park and swing on the swings - you are NOT too old!!!  It is FUN!!!  And, here is one of my favorites lately:  consider going parking with someone special!!!  That's right - get in the back seat and kiss until your heart's content!!!  Why not???  When was the last time you had FUN???

If you are not into THAT much fun, then consider these:
Enjoy the day........walk amongst the loveliest flowers you can find.......find the sunlit glades along the way...........relish the sunshine or the rain.......look for the rainbow.....water your garden.......visit with a neighbor.........take a bicycle ride........play with your dog or cat........read a book........sew a new dress........watch a funny movie.......read the funnies in a REAL Sunday paper........grab a Hoops and Yo-Yo card from Hallmark and let yourself giggle.......be silly........get a bottle of bubbles and pretend you are six again.......tell silly jokes to your kids so that they will think you are crazy......call your sister or brother and reminisce about your childhood days........

There are so many ways to find life enjoyable..........GO!  Find something new that will lift your spirit!!!
Then, email those ideas back to me so we can share them, if you are so inclined!!!

GO!!!  ENJOY!!!  PURE JOY!!!  FUN!!!

Trusting God...

And so, Part 3 begins......this is new ground for me, so please bear with me and forgive me if I stir up thoughts and/or emotions that might make you re-consider your views of this subject in a new way.

We started with the word Trust....then moved to Trusting Ourselves....and now, let's explore what it means to Trust God.  Yes, God.  The Creator of the Universe.  As some people say, a Higher Power.

First, do we believe God exists?  And, if so, what do we believe about God?  Do we believe He loves us, cares for us, guides us, heals us, and brings us joy?  Or, do we believe God is evasive, illusive, unforgiving, and difficult to talk to?  How about a Divine Genie who grants wishes?  Whatever your belief, consider expanding your horizon and looking at God from a new perspective.

Think on these words:  Omnipotent....a God who has unlimited power and authority.  Omnipresent... a God who is present everywhere....Omniscient...a God who has total knowledge.
Would you want to have a God like this on your side or prefer to ignore the evidence of this awesome Higher Power?

And, consider these definitions, too:  Awesome....inspiring awe - an emotion of mingled reverence, dread, and wonder.  Ask yourself:  do you feel awe for God or dread?  If it is dread, I hope you will open up your heart to find a very loving, caring, giving God.  One that you can feel awe for and revere.  Open your heart to find the wonder of His existence and Majesty.
Next, consider Divine....heavenly, magnificent, or supremely good.  Would this be your definition of God? 
If not, go outside tomorrow and listen to the birds as the morning begins......watch a sunset........put your toes in the sand and watch the ocean....smell the fragrance of a meadow of wildflowers or a rose.
And, finally, years ago, I came upon this definition from a 12 Step program:  God as we understand Him.  A loving God.  A caring God.  The God of our recovery.  I like that definition.  And yet, as my faith has developed and grown, I have found there is a much higher calling for who God truly is.  And, I have found that so many people I meet need to explore news ways of thinking about God and/or finding God, perhaps for the very first time.

What image does the word "God" bring up for you?  Have you ever really explored your ideas of who God is and why?  Has your faith grown dramatically over the years, or have you been on cruise control most of your life? 

Interestingly enough, trusting God or learning to trust God may be a very provocative journey for some of us based on our family of origin and life's experiences.  I feel I have been very "lucky" and blessed to have been given a heritage of faith.  My mom and my grandparents had an extremely deep faith in God and passed those beliefs on to me.  I am truly grateful for that beginning, but I must admit, my faith has grown by leaps and bounds over the past several years as I have explored a God whom I understand.

Trusting God has become my number one goal.  As I study His Word, the Bible each day, I find that trusting God is a key element to my faith growing and developing.  He asks us to Trust Him in every detail of our lives. Trust Him and don't be afraid.  Trust Him moment by moment. Trust Him in all our thoughts.  Trust Him in the depths of our being.  Trust Him with our decisions.  Trust Him with our finances.  Trust Him with our children and/or families.  Trust Him with our jobs.  Trust Him with our relationships.  Trust Him, lean on Him, depend on Him, come to Him, and allow Him to enter our hearts. 

Somewhere out there, there is an old adage that says:  "God helps those who help themselves."  Do you
believe that?  My mom did!!!  As most of you know, I loved my mom dearly.  She was one of the most loving, giving and self-sacrificing mother that ever lived on the face of this earth.  She was also one of the most self-sufficient and self-reliant people I know!!!  Fiercely independent, too!  Ask yourself:  do you try to do everything in your own strength and power?  Are you self-sufficient and/or self-reliant?  Independent?  Do you rely completely on yourself - so much so that you won't allow anyone to help you?
Well, guess what???  That old adage is Greek Mythology.  It come from Hercules!!!  Yep!  A myth, not a fact or a admonishment from the Lord.  There is not ONE verse in the Bible that says:  "Do it all yourself!"  Instead, we find that God asks us to trust Him with all of our lives......not some, not part, not most, but ALL of our lives.....would you consider laying down your self-sufficiency for a little TRUST???

What is really interesting, is that I have fought the fight of self-sufficiency myself for a long, long time.  Some battles I have won.  Some I have not.  I have displayed self-sufficiency to the nth degree in some ways and I am not saying that to boast.  I am saying it because of the God as I understand Him, and the God that I am learning to trust.  I am learning to rely on the God of the Universe who created me and wants me to learn His ways, His paths, His thoughts, and find His strength in every task.

One great verse in the Old Testament of the Bible is Proverbs 3: 5-6.  It says:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Look to Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight." 

Acknowledge Him. Revere Him.  Get to know Him by studying His Word.  Trust Him with all of your heart.  It will be worth it.  I promise.

Trusting Ourselves....

Well, here is Part 2 on trust, as I am reminded by several responses to the first blog on the concept of trust that trusting ourselves is a key component as well to the concept of trust.

Melody Beattie (one of my favorite authors) in her book "The Language of Letting Go" reminds us that trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery from life!  She has helped me to realize that learning to trust myself is one of the most important issues that I can face on a daily basis.  Many of us don't trust ourselves enough, so we go around asking other people what they think about a certain issue or topic.  We don't think we are smart enough or have enough experience to trust ourselves.  Or perhaps, we have made several mistakes in the past that have had monumental consequences, so we just don't want to take that chance again.  Think about that though - did you learn from the mistake?  Did you grow from that mistake?  Are you willing to try something new or take a different point of view based on the outcome of the past mistake?  Many times, we just need to realize that we need to slow down and have patience in making decisions or in thinking before we take action.  As you may imagine, patience is not my biggest virtue!  However, over the past 14 years, I have learned many, many things and waiting is one of the things I have asked God to teach me how to do.  It has been a hard lesson, but a very, very good one!  

I am learning to trust my own judgement now more than ever.  I used to think everyone else was smarter than me, or had more experience than I had in a particular area, or just "knew" better that I did.  Certainly, there are experts in various fields that can help us along the way, but in the basic things of life, we need to learn to trust ourselves.  Yes, it may be prudent to ask someone else how to build a deck or put on a new roof, but when it comes to matters of the  heart, you are the only one who truly knows your own heart.  Listen to that still, small voice in your head and your heart.  What is your heart saying?

I know that many people may have had trust issues in the past with a sibling, parent, spouse or someone very important in their life.  I do not mean to diminish that situation or experience.  Some people really should NOT be trusted.  Trust your instincts if that is the case!  However, did someone tell you that you could not trust yourself?  If so, did you believe them because they were older than you?  Smarter than you?  Or, because you did not realize you had the opportunity to trust yourself yet?  The process of growing up sometimes holds tenuous moments of learning things on our own.  Sometimes, we just need to learn that we CAN trust ourselves.  We ARE smart enough.  We DO have enough experience to make this decision or make that choice.  Trust is a process that we LEARN. 

Just as babies trust their parents and/or caregivers to give them the nourishment that they need, so we need to learn to trust our instincts, our thoughts, our opinions.  Not everyone else is smarter than we are.  Honestly.

And, some may be dealing with an issue right now that is detrimental to their lives or have been betrayed by someone they truly thought was on our side.  Acknowledge that betrayal.  Carefront that issue with yourself and with that person, if possible.  Then, move on, move forward.  Offer forgiveness, if possible.  And, don't forget to forgive yourself if you have made a mistake or two in the past.  We all do..........that's how we grow and learn!!!

When we learn to trust ourselves, it is a very wonderful feeling - it is also a gift that heals our heart.  Sometimes we make mistakes....sometimes we need to change our mind.......sometimes we need to re-think a decision or a relationship based on new information.  We really DO know in our hearts what is best for us - we really CAN rely on ourselves to make good decisions.  We really can trust that we will come to know the right answer for us in time.  Ask for guidance in your prayers - ask God to show you the way, then use the answers you find to move forward.  Use your own judgement as to whether or not something is right for you.  You can rely on yourself........really!!!

Trust...

On a quiet Sunday afternoon, I sit pondering the concept of trust.  It is defined as a firm reliance or confident belief or faith.  A person or thing in which confidence is placed, to rely on, to depend on, and to have hope in.....what is trust to you?  Who can you trust?  When can you really place your trust in something or someone?  When do you "allow" yourself to trust someone???

My brother gave me this analogy once:  Trust is a bit like a bank account.  You build it - one deposit at a time.  Just like deposits in a bank account, you add a little trust each time you do what you say you are going to do.   Or, trust is built when someone ask you to keep something in confidence and you do.  Trust is built over time - it is a process in many ways...it doesn't happen overnight.  Sometimes, trust takes a long time to build and other times, it comes more easily or readily. 

I was lucky enough to have parents who were a good source of trust.  My parents loved us kids and did whatever it took to take good care of us and keep us from harm.  They provided a secure home and a safe place to express our feelings.  They disciplined us and taught us right from wrong.  They loved us unconditionally.  I have been blessed. 

Other examples of trust may be:  When you take an elderly neighbor to the doctor and they depend on you to show up on time, drive them to the appointment and take them home.  This builds trust as you take care of their needs and allow them to get there and back safely.
Or, you show up at the hospital room while a friend is waiting for their loved one to come out of surgery or visit when they are recovering from surgery. 
Trust is built when you show up or take your kids to every baseball game, every soccer game, every volleyball game, every swim meet, every theater practice or play, or whatever activity your kids enjoyed growing up! 
Trust is built when you put your kids to bed at night when they are little - they know you are there for them.
Trust is built when your teenage kids know you will take them to dinner every Sunday as promised. 
Trust is built one step at a time, one hug at a time, one listening ear at a time, one reliable instance at a time.

Trustworthy people are truthful, believable and credible.  They follow through, they can be counted on for big things and small things.  They are reliable.  They are honest.  The are humble.  They are dependable. When others seem scarce, a trustworthy person is there for you.  You know you can call that person anytime and they will listen, give you a shoulder to cry on and a heart to depend on.

Learning to trust may be a journey for some who have not had the gift of trustworthy people in their lives.
Trust is a key concept in our lives - one we need to build and refine each day.  In ourselves and in our relationships.  It is a foundation worth building.  Be dependable, be reliable, be faithful in your duties - be that person others can count on!!!