Have you ever heard of someone having to thaw out their heart? Their heart has grown so cold that they can't even imagine life with it being frozen.
Or, have you ever been hurt so deeply that you think you will never recover? Have you chosen to go "Stone Cold" to survive? Have you closed your heart so that you will never get hurt again?
I don't know the answer to that question for you, but I do have a very special friend of mine who has been through such an excruiciating experience that she cannot come up for air. And, it is 12 years AFTER she left the relationship.
Excruiciate means to inflict severe pain upon; torture; to cause mental anguish to; irritate greatly.
This subject is not a light one. And, unfortunately, I know more than one person who has been through such a grueling experience.
1) Severe pain.....how do you heal from that?
2) Torture.....how do you live through years of abuse and not get tainted about relationships and life?
3) Mental anguish.....how do you not put up a wall around yourself, a baracade so high that you won't get hurt again?
4) How do you stop hearing the things that were said to you over and over?
5) Irritate someone on purpose? Do people really do that to others?
You bet they do! And, on a daily basis.........for years......how do you walk away from the abuse? When is enough, enough???
If you know someone who is going through this now, they may be asking themselves: "How do you explain to your young children that you need to leave the home they have grown up in?"
Or, after the experience is over, you ask yourself: "How do you tell my adult children what I went through?" At what point does the truth need to be told???
If I were going through such a horrific experience, these questions would run through my head:
1) Should I build a rampart around me to fortify myself?
2) Shall I build a wall around myself like a broad elevation or mound of earth to fortify a city as in the ancient days?
3) Should I build a bulwark that is so strong that my defenses are continuously keeping people out of my life?
4) Or, do I isolate myself and never tell anyone? "What would people think if they knew what was going on behind the doors of this "Happy Family?"
Then, once you are out of the situation, what next? How do you possibly heal from all those wounds.........30 years worth!
Imagine going into a meat locker where a restaurant owner keeps their meat frozen. Can you imagine how frigid the temperature is so that the meat does not go bad? What if you touch something and your finger freezes instantly? What if the door locked behind you and you could not get out of the freezer? Everything on your body would go frozen......just imagine how horrific that would be!
Well, imagine that person who survived abuse for over 30 years has been in the meat locker. Her heart is frozen. Frozen solid. No hope for a spring thaw either.
In such a grave situation as this, how do you think you would live the rest of your life? Happy and carefree? One might hope so, but unfortunately, abuse runs deep. It goes to the core of your being and replaces joy with fear and anguish. It is very difficult to come out of this type of situation and be "carefree!" So, we need to encourage these wounded ones that there is hope. Hope to heal. Hope to find love again. Hope to find JOY again!
Despite the severe pain, the anguish, the physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse that was inflicted, a person CAN heal. They can choose to heal. Yet, that is NOT as easy as it sounds.
Please understand, I am not making light of this type of abuse or situation, nor am I judging or criticizing anyone who has been through such pain and anguish. My prayer is that each person who has been through such a stinging experience, would experience restoration. A metamorphasis so beautiful that they feel like a butterfly coming into to a new life after being in a cold, dark cocoon of horror.
My hope in writing this is to point these precious wounded ones who have been through so much to forgiveness and love.
Forgiveness. Choose to forgive. Allow the process of forgiveness to take place one day at a time.
One day, you will be happy again. One day, you will rejoice that you have been able to let go of all that pain....all that grief....all that ugliness.
Love. Love for the asking. Love for the taking. Love for the giving. Restored relationships with people you love dearly and have been at arms length for way too long.
Each is a gift in and of itself. And, a gift any person can give themselves...despite the pain, despite the abuse, despite the anguish, despite the isolation, despite the enormous hurt. Is it easy to do? Absolutely NOT!!! It is so very hard to start the journey of recovery. But, it IS possible.
And, again, I am NOT making light of this and I am NOT a therapist or an expert. I know that healing does NOT happen overnight!!! It may take years of therapy and counseling. It may take years of learning new thought patterns that are healthy and realistic. It may take years of hearing good things about yourself before you believe it. It may take years of being gentle with yourself.
Let me share with you one idea:
Turn to the One, True, Living God. Turn to the God who heals. The God who restores. The God who transforms us from the inside out! Come to the Living Water.
Come and rest awhile.
How do I know this? Because I went through a dark experience, too. Not one of abuse, but one of divorce. I could have chosen to remain isolated and bitter and resentful. But, I chose to go to the God whose love is unbelievable, incredible, inexpressible and goes on forever. I chose to heal. I chose to let Him change me from the inside out. I reached out and ASKED Him to heal me.
And, I still ask Him everyday to heal me.
The beautiful part is that I have been healed. I have been restored. And, I know the God who heals!!! I know the God who transforms us, and I know that He CAN heal anyone. Anyone who chooses to lay it all down at the bottom of the cross. Anyone who chooses to surrender their pain, their hurt and their anguish.
He WILL heal us, if we let Him. If we ask Him!!! And, I am convinced that He can heal anyone completely = 100%! I am living proof. And, I praise Him from the core of my being for healing me, restoring me and allowing me to share this story.
I pray that if you are hurting so deeply, you will come to the well. Come to the Living Waters of Jesus Christ and ask Him to heal you. He will. I promise!!!
John 7:38 says: "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."
Come.
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