From Harsh to Marshmellow heart....

 At the end of a person's life, how is that person to be defined?  Is it by skill, intellect, personality, emotions (or lack thereof), career, status, finances, material items, religious preference, family of origin, # of kids or siblings, personal habits, physical strength, character traits, motivation or perception?

Then, of course, comes the question:  How does one WANT to be remembered?  Would the words loving, caring, giving, generous, hospitable, always helpful, or sweet come to mind?  OR, would people remember a harsh, stern, bully, tyrant, unreasonable, hard core or "always had to be right" type of person come to mind?

Whatever the perception is, that is what permeates the description in our heads and hearts.  It lingers....

Think about it - if this were your funeral, what would you want people to say about you?

Would you want them to walk a mile in someone else's shoes attitude?  Would you want people to realize who you really were instead of perception and their beliefs?  Would you be judgmental or gracious in your estimation?

If we've had a negative experience with someone important in our life, can we choose to become willing to extend grace?  Even after that person is gone?  Can we grow, learn  and have courage to face those feelings?  Can we forgive someone who has hurt us deeply?  Absolutely.  But it is a process.  We must choose to forgive.

The last 5 years has been extremely interesting in my relationship with Jerry Spencer.  We became friends....commrades.  We learned a lot about each other.  It's funny:  years ago, I told people the best part about my divorce (if there could be something like that!) was never speaking to Jerry Spencer again.  His words could be crushing.  Ironically, we have become very close and we talked often.  And I am grateful for this relationship in my life.

We shared our hurts, our frustrations, our feelings, and our successes and our failures. But most of all, we shared our faith!  We talked a lot about how the Holy Spirit is so essential in our lives and in our prayers.

We prayed for each other and our families.  We cried together and laughed together.  NEVER in a million years would I have dreamed we would become close!  The last time I spoke to Jerry was the day before Mother's Day.  I will miss his calls and the beautiful, poignant cards he send me each year.  He never missed a birthday, Christmas or Mother's day.  And the cards always arrived exactly on the day!  And, he always thought of me as family.

The biggest thing I learned about Jerry was how much he loved each one of his family!!!  How often he prayed for them and cried over them.  He admitted his mistakes and asked the Lord for forgiveness.  And, he received it:  I John 1 says:  "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  Sounds too simple, doesn't it?  But that is they way the Lord designed it.  Confession.  Forgiveness.  Giving it all to Jesus!

Jerry tried with all his heart to seek forgiveness and put things straight as best he could.  He wanted to stere each one that he loved to a better place, to make better choices, to be wiser in their decisions.  His intentions were PURE GOLD.  And, it was all for love.

Romans 8:37-39 says:  "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  This is one of my life verses that anchors me. I read it for my beloved Grandfather " Gramps" and I read it now for Jerry.

The ultimate act of love is forgiveness...It's why Christ died on the Cross....for you, for me.

Have you ever watched the movie:  I Can Only Imagine or listened to that song?  I've watched it so many times that I've love count.  And I have wept over the relationships that were similar.  The movie is about relationships and how hurtful experiences can keep people apart - for years!  But, it is also about Redemption!!!  And, I believe today is about redemption.

Relationships CAN be healed...

Forgiveness CAN be extended...

Each one of us CAN offer and receive forgiveness  OR it can be withheld and relationships ruined.

What I learned the most about Jerry in the past 5 years was that his heart was in the right place.

Picture a HUGE Marshmellow Bouncey House!  It's squishy, it's pliable....one can land in a soft place....and it can be a place of JOY!

Jerry could be extremely difficult to deal with at times, but oh how he loved us and wanted the best for each of us!!!  That's why he pushed so hard....

If you haven't come to terms with your relationship with Jerry, then you haven't looked at the reason he existed. LOVE.  Pure and simple.

He couldn't  (or didn't ) say it in his earlier years, but once Christ go ahold of his heart, he pursued his love for the Lord 1st and then his love for his family.  Jerry did everything he could to make amends and be a pillar of strength for each of us.

He asked me once way back in 1986 when he first became a "Born again" Christian:

"Why can't my kids say "I love you" back to me?  My answer was:  "Perhaps because they did not hear it from you for the first 26 years of their lives....Maybe, if you keep telling them for the NEXT 26 years, they will believe you!"  With tears in his eyes, he then asked:  "Do you really think it will take that long?"  And, I answered:  "Only the Lord knows their hearts and yours."

Search your heart.....Then, picture and huge Marshmellow heart....that is/was Jerry's heart for each of you!!!

He loved you so........

All for Love

I have been asked to speak at a MOPS (Moms of Pre-schoolers) group on the topic of "All for Love."  So, it got me thinking about how we define love in today's world.  What exactly is love in your own heart and mind? 

Is it a feeling? An intense affectionate concern for another person? A passionate attraction to someone else? A beloved individual? A strong liking or enthusiasm towards others?  Is love cherishing a loved one or a family member?  Is love adoring someone in particular?

How would you define love? What would cause you to say "I love you" to someone? What would cause you to "love" something or someone? Is it the type of love you see on a Hallmark movie?  Or even in a romantic novel?  Is it family love or friendship?  Is it brotherly/sisterly love?

And, on another level, how would you describe a parent's love?  Is it sacrificial?  It is unconditional or conditional?  Or, is it a duty that has to be done because children are not able to take care of themselves? I think that subject would take days or years to define!  And, there is definitely more to being a parent that meets the eye as basic duties of a parent!

There are questions and upon questions on love...what question do you have about love?

I Corinthians 13:1-3 says:  "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries  and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Would you give all you possess to the poor?  Would you burn at the stake for someone you loved? Think about it.  What degree would you go to for love?

Love is defined very differently in the Bible than the Webster dictionary.  

Agape love is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.  It is the highest of the four types of love in the Bible. 

Phileo love is a friendship type of love.  

Storge love is affection. 

And, finally Eros love is romantic love.

Which type of love presents itself in your life on a regular basis? What would you give up for love?  Or who would you do anything for,  for love?  

And, how about ALL for love?  Would you give it "all?"  Is there a specific cause you would give everything up to help? Would you sponsor a child with Compassion International or a similar organization to love a child that has nothing or very little?  Would you do that for 18 years or longer? What about your own kids if you have them.  What would you do to love them completely?

And, finally, would you give your life for another person if it came down to it?  Or, would you give up your life as Christ did on the cross for an entire humanity of people whose sins, mistakes or choices need atoning for?  

Love is a very deep subject to ponder....and a topic that is vital to our families and lives....we can choose to love deeply and give "all" for love or not.  

How do you choose to love?  Deeply or on the surface?  Carelessly or carefully? Conditionally or unconditionally?  All or nothing?

Continuing from the verse above, verses 4-13 say it all:

"Love is patient and kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not haughty or selfish or rude.  It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.  It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish things behind me.  Now I see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And, now these three things remain:  Faith, Hope and Love.  But the greatest of these is LOVE."

So again, what do you say love is?  How do you choose to love those people in your life?  Choose carefully.  It has lasting affects on those you love or choose not to love.  

Your Heart Song...

Have you ever heard of a Honeyeating Bird from Australia?  I had not until this morning when reading Our Daily Bread devotion turned me to researching this singing bird. There are only about 300 of these birds left and may become extinct. However, Australian conservationists are looking into how to prevent that.  The conservationists are bringing music to the habitat with recorded songs so that they birds can hear their native song and relearn how to sing it!  This bird has a unique song - it's heart song which allows them to sing for a mate!  If they lose their song, the species will die.  Can you imagine if they lost that song?      

Zephaniah 3:17 says that God sings over us!  

"The Lord God is in our midst, The Mighty One will save.  

He will rejoice over you with gladness, 

He will quiet you in His love, 

He will rejoice over you with singing."

Amazing!  Just as God created a unique and special bird in Australia, he created each of us with our own unique heart song. Each of us are given gifts to share with others.  Trials, tribulations and daily stresses take away our heart song sometimes.  We become deafened to what makes us sing.  We lose our savor, our passion, our way.  But what if we like this Honeyeating Bird relearn our song?  What if when we feel decimated by our suffering, we sing?  What if our heart song could be restored?

I believe God does that every time we turn to Him.  He sings over us.  Yes!  You. Me.  Bringing Him the things that hurt the most.  The things that tear us down.  The things that make us heart sick.  He can make a way where there is NO way!  His voice of love and forgiveness can restore our song.  We can listen to His melody each day by reading His Word.  By listening for His voice.  By prayer and meditation. By listening for the song He sings over us....yes, even you!  Even me.

He never lets us go.  He never leaves us.

Now that is a song worth singing!!!

Indomitable....

Indomitable........that's quite a word!  And, it has several meanings:  Incapable of being overcome or subdued; unconquerable, untamable; not easily discouraged or defeated.  My college dictionary from1973 gave me the first two definitions and a dictionary from 2003 gave me the third definition.  Indomitable to me is unconquerable, untamable.  Being easily discouraged or defeated has a completely different meaning to me!

So what is indomitable to you? What would be unconquerable for you?  What is untamable in your life?  Would you stake your life on something that is indomitable?  Would you stake your life on love that indomitable? Have you ever been the recipient of indomitable love?  Or, have you ever given that type of love to another?  Some believe that a parent's love is indomitable.

Love is indomitable.  Love is irresistible. Love conquers all even when we don't get what we want out of life.  Love is deep.  Love is strong. Love is self-sacrificing. Love is more than compassion or sheer sentiment. Love sits down with others.  Love listens.  Love pushes when necessary. Love isn't afraid.

The Bible defines it beautifully in I Corinthians 13:4-7:  "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."

What would you stake your life on?  Would it be this kind of indomitable love?  Would it be a passion for a specific cause that you would give your life for?

Would you consider someone dying for you indomitable?  Would you consider being the recipient of such a sacrifice?  If you are a believer, there is someone who died for you, for me.  His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  His love was and is indomitable.  Christ's love never fails.  Never.

So, I ask again, what is indomitable to you?   Would you stake your life on this kind of love?  I would.  And, I do.  Every day.  I hope you will, too!!!

A Lenten Journey

 How many of us know that there are 40 days before Easter that are called "Lent?"  It is the 40 days leading up to the death, burial and the the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It is a time of "going within" to consider what is most important about our faith.  My dad's family was Catholic, so there was a tradition of "giving up" something for Lent in order to focus more on God and our walk with God.  My mom's family was Presbyterian and some Presbyterians also give up something for Lent.  So usually, I gave up sweets: Coca Cola, cookies, brownies, cakes, etc.  And, I usually lost about 10 pounds every year!  It was great!

Did I grow closer to God?  Perhaps.  But in my earlier years, it really was a form of losing weight while trying to be more faithful to God.  Now, in my later years, I truly try to go within to improve my relationship with the Lord...and to learn more about His character and His incredible Love.

The Upper Room Ministries had a book from 1993 called:  "Readings for Lent and Easter" that was a combination of devotions from various parts of The Upper Room ministries.  It is a book I have read each day for the past 29 years during the 40 days of Lent. It is out of print, but I treasure my tattered copy!!!  I learn something new each year from several of the devotions and my journey grows stronger to God each day and each year that I read this book.

Forty is significant in the Bible.  Forty days for the rain while Noah was on the ark, 40 days Moses spent on Mt. Sinai, and Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years and so on.....40 days of Lent before Easter is meant to be a time of quiet reflection, perhaps a season of the heart for some and a time to look inward in order that we might look up towards God.

Think about that.....what would you give up for 40 days in order to get closer to God?  Is there something that you would be willing to give up to learn more about God?  If so, what would you choose?  A specific amount of time reading your Bible each day? Would you give up lunch in order to pray? Would you consider giving up criticism of others for 40 days?  Would you do something new that is devoted to God's service such as volunteering at a homeless shelter once a week for 6 weeks? 

It is a noble undertaking.  Something to consider as we journey towards Easter.  The most significant day of our faith:  Jesus' Resurrection!!!  He was crucified for our sins........He died for you and me so that we could live with Him in Eternity.....He is worth learning more!!! And it just may allow you to learn about how much your are loved!!! Is that worth giving up something for 40 days?  It is for me.....and I hope it will be for you!

Ordinary days

Today is just an ordinary day.  Nothing special. Nothing pressing. Even the sky is ordinary - it is gray with a bit a sunshine peaking through.  Nothing spectacular. Nothing unusual.

We have just gone through the busiest season the year with Christmas.  And now, we have ordinary days. Routine. Same chores, same errands, same house to clean, same dishes to wash and generally just being.

Ordinary is commonplace, normal, average, usual, customary, familiar. If life is "ordinary" does that mean it's boring?  Uneventful? Mediocre?  Characterless? 

I have always been a very active person.  Some people say I am "too busy."  For me, an ordinary day is something special. It can be eventful. It can even be a spectacular adventure!  And, I choose to make it that way on most of my ordinary days.

Yet as I am recovering from total knee surgery, an ordinary day is unusual for me.  It is one of quiet moments, restful naps, praying for others, listening for the Lord's voice in a new way and pondering the amazing care and provision the Lord has given me.

Ordinary. Amazing. Beyond blessing.

Indescribable

Indescribable is something that is too extraordinary to be described! Can you imagine that? What in your life is indescribable? Is it the love of your life? Your child? A gift that you received that you were not expecting?

Or, consider this:  What in all creation cannot be described?  The beauty of a sunrise or sunset?  The ocean?  The view from the top of a mountain?  The rolling hills of Ireland? The Grand Canyon?  The Red Rock Canyons?

Think about something so magnificent, so majestic, so glorious that you cannot find the words to tell someone else how that object or experience has impacted your life.

For me, it was underneath the stars at a Young Life Camp where I accepted Jesus into my heart at age 16 in 1972.  The stars were shining so brilliantly and the feeling of awe and reverence was so thick I felt I could cut it with a knife!  I felt the presence of God in such a way that I would call it indescribable. And, the gift that Jesus gave me that night was the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of me.  Me! Little ol’ Pam…..And, He gave me that gift for the rest of my life.  Yes, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead as Jeremy Camp’s song “Same Power” says, was now inside of me! WOW!

At that moment, I did not realize all that would come about in my life. So many times, when I was discouraged or feeling down in the dumps not knowing exactly what to do with my life, I would ponder what path I should take? For instance, after college.  Yes, I had a Music Education degree and wanted to teach music to elementary students, but I could not find a job. It took months!  And, it was 2 weeks before school started that fall semester, that I finally got offered a job in Cincinnati! Whew! Was that a “God-incidence?”  I believe so!

Then, after waiting 15 years to have a child, my son Matthew was born. Now that was indescribable. Just the pure joy I felt in knowing I would have a child after years of waiting was indescribable. We named him “Matthew” which means “Gift of God.”  Yes, he is truly my gift from God. Everyday, I thank the Lord for this gift! His smile makes me melt every time I see him – he is so handsome, smart, funny and considerate!

What other gift is indescribable?  Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! In 2 Corinthians 9:15, the Bible says: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”

That is the ultimate “Indescribable” gift…….we can never repay this debt that was paid on our  behalf. Never. And, it is truly the gift that I am most thankful for every day!