Avoidance

 

Matthew 18:21

“Then, Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go?  As many as seven times?”

 

Avoidance……not a subject many people talk about, but many of us do on a daily basis!

What do you avoid?  Evade? Dodge? Put off?  I am not talking about procrastination – putting something off until later.  I am talking about avoiding a major issue, controversy and/or topic that needs to be addressed.

Our country is facing many topics that need to be addressed!!!  This is not a political argument I am trying to start.  This is reality.  So how do we start?  How do we address things that are very, very uncomfortable and heartbreaking?

I believe the definition of Acceptance which I learned from Al-Anon is one key factor.  I learned that acceptance is simple acknowledgement.  Without blame, without shame, without guilt and without regret.  It does NOT mean condoning bad behavior such as physical or verbal abuse. 

Rather, acceptance is simply acknowledging that something we really wanted to happen did not.  Or vice versa!  For example:  Divorce.  On the day I got married in 1980, was I planning on getting divorced 20 years later?  Absolutely not!  I was committing to a lifetime of love, or so I thought.  I did NOT want to get divorced, yet it happened and I must accept that it is so.  It still hurts, it still stings, and it still breaks my heart.  But it is reality in my world and my son’s.  We have learned to simply acknowledge that our life is different than what we expected.

So what are you trying to escape from?  Which hard conversation are you avoiding with your spouse, sibling, family member, friend, boss, and/or co-worker about an issue that has been plaguing your relationship for a long time?  How long will you keep away from and/or shun that person, or they shun you?  How long will you keep away from someone who loves you dearly, but you adamantly disagree with?  How long are you willing to be unyielding towards others?  How long to you want to be “right?” (IF you are!)

I have heard of family members who do not talk for 9-10 years over an argument they had.  Some have gone 20-25 years over a divide in philosophy or ideals.  Is it really worth losing a family member or friend because you are not willing to yield and try to understand the opposite side? Why retreat for that long?

If possible, consider the definition of acceptance becoming part of who you are and how you respond.  Simple acknowledgement.  Without blame.  Without shame.  Without guilt.  Without regret.  Then, go and make amends with that person.  Forgiveness is amazing!