A Human Chrysalis: From Heartbreak to Beauty

Have you ever studied a Chrysalis closely?  It is the pupa or beginning of a butterfly.  Encased in a cocoon, the chrysalis begins to form from pupa (larval form) to something so magnificent, so beautiful  and so stunning that a person can hardly believe it was once a pupa!!!

I have a friend that is so beautiful, so magnificent and so stunning, yet she does not think she is anything special.  You see, after 30 years of being told she was not worthy, she came to believe it.  She stood stoically as she endured years of betrayal, unkind words and behavior from her own husband and his family that people (including her own children) never knew what she was experiencing on a daily basis.  Thirty years..........I have known this beautiful friend for over 46 years now, yet not knowing what was going on behind the scenes of a "Happy Family."  She lived in one state, I lived in another.  Every time I called to talk to her whether it was just to catch up, on her birthday, their wedding anniversary, or the kids birthdays, she never knew that I called. Never....her husband never told Linda that Nancy or I had ever called.  Never.  Thirty years.

I was stunned in 2008 when I found out about her divorce and the abuse.  I never knew the depth of the hurt she was experiencing.  For the most part, I did not see the abuse, but I did hear her husband's description and language towards other people whenever I visited my home town and went to see them as friends.  Over the years, I did talk to him, but learned to not like him very much as most people he spoke about were "dirtballs" or "dumbasses" and other various negative names.  (Now, years later, I believe he was actually talking about himself.  Possibly, insecurity extraordinaire?)

The good news is, after 46 years, the three Piano Majors who were friends while we each studied music at Ohio State University got together for a vacation for July 4, 2025 in Western New York.  

We stayed at Nancy & Bruce's house on Interlaken Lake in Western New York - it was MAGNIFICENT!!!  We had so much fun, and Nancy and I watched a beautiful butterfly emerge from her cocoon.  Yes, our friend Linda was coming out of her shell.  Finally, after years of praying for her, the Lord is beginning to transform her.  From the inside out!

No more abuse, no more name calling, no more hiding the hurt and shame, no more stoically standing on the sidelines while being told horrific things about who she was and how she looked.  No matter what she wore, it was never good enough for her husband even though she is gorgeous- every day! 

This magnificent, beautiful and stunning friend began to laugh and be herself again!!!  It was amazing to see her heart "unthawing" after so many years in a frozen meat locker.  Yes, her heart was frozen for soooo long!

Plus, Linda is an amazing and accomplished musician!  While in college, she worked 3 jobs, had 3 children and got her doctorate in music!!!  Amazing!!! Incredible!!! How did she accomplish all that?  I have NO idea, but I believe it was by the Grace of God!

It was so much fun to watch Linda unfold as a person again.  She went on the intertube on the lake behind the boat just for fun!  She gave Nancy's granddaughter an impromptu piano lesson and made Charlie laugh and learn that "rhythm is her friend!"  She went on walks with us. We drank coffee together every morning. And, she shared her heart with Nancy and I as we listened to her story.

Also, listening to Linda play the piano and watching her beautiful hands on the piano keys, I cried once again because her hands are like "velvet" on the keys! Velvet!!!  I have described Linda's playing to my family and friends over the years as velvet on the keys over and over again.........it is truly amazing to watch and listen to her play!!  AMAZING!!!

If you have a friend who has been through such a stinging, excruciating experience, encourage them that there is a bridge to the other side of that cold, dark cliff they were on.  Encourage them to walk across that bridge to the other side.  There is healing, there is wholeness, there is love for the asking on the other side.  And , they do NOT need to feel guilty for leaving that cold, dark cliff.  They deserve Love, Joy, and Peace. They deserve to emerge from that cocoon and fly like a beautiful butterfly!!!

From heartbreak to beauty.  It truly is possible.  We watched the butterfly emerge!!!  WOW!!!

Friends and Sisters-in-Christ

Friends who accompany us along this journey call life are priceless!  Each one has a unique quality and personality. They make up a "tribe" to surround us and make each day filled with joy, laughter and fun, and make our life more vibrant and worth living.  They are an anchor for our soul at times as well. They lift us up when life gets us down and stand by our side when the going gets rough.  We share our joys and sorrows openly and freely. 

When those priceless friends are also, sisters-in-Christ, it is even more of a gift!  For we know our Anchor is in Christ alone. He shines a light on the darkness and gives us hope.  These "sisters" help us to see that light. 

Five years ago, we started on a journey with my friend Loraine as she faced liver and colon cancer.  She faced it head on and fought hard!  She faced each treatment with courage and dignity. Many ladies from our church took her to chemo treatments, doctor appointments, and her best friend Debbie from New York was on every phone call with the doctor and surgeon.  Her cousin, Mary Ann stepped in and took care of the finances and provided incredible moral support with Mary Ann's hubby and daughters. Then, an angel named Pam McCracken, sent from God above, offered her home to Loraine and took care of Loraine for the past 15 months. It was beautiful to watch Pam take care of Loraine, especially in these past few weeks and days of her life. The tenderness and love poured through to Loraine in every way imaginable. Just think of what an incredible gift that was to Loraine!

Loraine has and had a mighty tribe!  

After multiple surgeries, chemo and grueling treatments, her battle is over.  Today around 8 am, the Lord gathered His precious lamb, Loraine Hardy in His arms and took her home to be with Him forever!  No more pain, no more cancer, no more suffering.  Loraine is whole and free and Rejoicing! And, for those of us who are believers, we will see her again in Heaven!!! Hallelujah!!!

Isaiah 40: 11 says: "He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart."  The Shepherd, Jesus, gathered her in His arms as she took her last breath this morning.

And, He did carry her close to His heart!  Every day......what a privilege it was and is to have been by her side these past 5 years.  She is the epitome of "Loveliness."  Everything about her was lovely....pure....sweet.  I wrote a blog in March 2020 about her being "Lovely."  (I will be reading it at her Celebration of Life in a couple of months!)  She truly was....

I pray that each of you reading this has a "tribe" around you -- to carry you through, to be by your side, to help lift the burden on the days you want to give up, and to help you see how loved you are!!!

These sisters who are "closer than a brother" are precious.  Priceless. The love they share with us will stay in our hearts long after our earthly life is over.  That is why we look forward to Eternity in Heaven.

We will see you again, Loraine!!!  We love you and will miss you dearly..........thank you for blessing our lives!!!