Trusting Ourselves....

Well, here is Part 2 on trust, as I am reminded by several responses to the first blog on the concept of trust that trusting ourselves is a key component as well to the concept of trust.

Melody Beattie (one of my favorite authors) in her book "The Language of Letting Go" reminds us that trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery from life!  She has helped me to realize that learning to trust myself is one of the most important issues that I can face on a daily basis.  Many of us don't trust ourselves enough, so we go around asking other people what they think about a certain issue or topic.  We don't think we are smart enough or have enough experience to trust ourselves.  Or perhaps, we have made several mistakes in the past that have had monumental consequences, so we just don't want to take that chance again.  Think about that though - did you learn from the mistake?  Did you grow from that mistake?  Are you willing to try something new or take a different point of view based on the outcome of the past mistake?  Many times, we just need to realize that we need to slow down and have patience in making decisions or in thinking before we take action.  As you may imagine, patience is not my biggest virtue!  However, over the past 14 years, I have learned many, many things and waiting is one of the things I have asked God to teach me how to do.  It has been a hard lesson, but a very, very good one!  

I am learning to trust my own judgement now more than ever.  I used to think everyone else was smarter than me, or had more experience than I had in a particular area, or just "knew" better that I did.  Certainly, there are experts in various fields that can help us along the way, but in the basic things of life, we need to learn to trust ourselves.  Yes, it may be prudent to ask someone else how to build a deck or put on a new roof, but when it comes to matters of the  heart, you are the only one who truly knows your own heart.  Listen to that still, small voice in your head and your heart.  What is your heart saying?

I know that many people may have had trust issues in the past with a sibling, parent, spouse or someone very important in their life.  I do not mean to diminish that situation or experience.  Some people really should NOT be trusted.  Trust your instincts if that is the case!  However, did someone tell you that you could not trust yourself?  If so, did you believe them because they were older than you?  Smarter than you?  Or, because you did not realize you had the opportunity to trust yourself yet?  The process of growing up sometimes holds tenuous moments of learning things on our own.  Sometimes, we just need to learn that we CAN trust ourselves.  We ARE smart enough.  We DO have enough experience to make this decision or make that choice.  Trust is a process that we LEARN. 

Just as babies trust their parents and/or caregivers to give them the nourishment that they need, so we need to learn to trust our instincts, our thoughts, our opinions.  Not everyone else is smarter than we are.  Honestly.

And, some may be dealing with an issue right now that is detrimental to their lives or have been betrayed by someone they truly thought was on our side.  Acknowledge that betrayal.  Carefront that issue with yourself and with that person, if possible.  Then, move on, move forward.  Offer forgiveness, if possible.  And, don't forget to forgive yourself if you have made a mistake or two in the past.  We all do..........that's how we grow and learn!!!

When we learn to trust ourselves, it is a very wonderful feeling - it is also a gift that heals our heart.  Sometimes we make mistakes....sometimes we need to change our mind.......sometimes we need to re-think a decision or a relationship based on new information.  We really DO know in our hearts what is best for us - we really CAN rely on ourselves to make good decisions.  We really can trust that we will come to know the right answer for us in time.  Ask for guidance in your prayers - ask God to show you the way, then use the answers you find to move forward.  Use your own judgement as to whether or not something is right for you.  You can rely on yourself........really!!!

Trust...

On a quiet Sunday afternoon, I sit pondering the concept of trust.  It is defined as a firm reliance or confident belief or faith.  A person or thing in which confidence is placed, to rely on, to depend on, and to have hope in.....what is trust to you?  Who can you trust?  When can you really place your trust in something or someone?  When do you "allow" yourself to trust someone???

My brother gave me this analogy once:  Trust is a bit like a bank account.  You build it - one deposit at a time.  Just like deposits in a bank account, you add a little trust each time you do what you say you are going to do.   Or, trust is built when someone ask you to keep something in confidence and you do.  Trust is built over time - it is a process in many ways...it doesn't happen overnight.  Sometimes, trust takes a long time to build and other times, it comes more easily or readily. 

I was lucky enough to have parents who were a good source of trust.  My parents loved us kids and did whatever it took to take good care of us and keep us from harm.  They provided a secure home and a safe place to express our feelings.  They disciplined us and taught us right from wrong.  They loved us unconditionally.  I have been blessed. 

Other examples of trust may be:  When you take an elderly neighbor to the doctor and they depend on you to show up on time, drive them to the appointment and take them home.  This builds trust as you take care of their needs and allow them to get there and back safely.
Or, you show up at the hospital room while a friend is waiting for their loved one to come out of surgery or visit when they are recovering from surgery. 
Trust is built when you show up or take your kids to every baseball game, every soccer game, every volleyball game, every swim meet, every theater practice or play, or whatever activity your kids enjoyed growing up! 
Trust is built when you put your kids to bed at night when they are little - they know you are there for them.
Trust is built when your teenage kids know you will take them to dinner every Sunday as promised. 
Trust is built one step at a time, one hug at a time, one listening ear at a time, one reliable instance at a time.

Trustworthy people are truthful, believable and credible.  They follow through, they can be counted on for big things and small things.  They are reliable.  They are honest.  The are humble.  They are dependable. When others seem scarce, a trustworthy person is there for you.  You know you can call that person anytime and they will listen, give you a shoulder to cry on and a heart to depend on.

Learning to trust may be a journey for some who have not had the gift of trustworthy people in their lives.
Trust is a key concept in our lives - one we need to build and refine each day.  In ourselves and in our relationships.  It is a foundation worth building.  Be dependable, be reliable, be faithful in your duties - be that person others can count on!!! 

Divine Appointments...

Divine appointments - have you ever had one?  Have you ever met someone that you feel was brought into your life for a reason?  Or, have you done something you have been longing to do and found out that you are being led exactly to what you need at the moment?  Have you been praying for direction, guidance or wisdom about a particular thing in your life and all of a sudden you find yourself right smack in the middle of where you want to be or wanted to do for a very long time?  Perhaps you have noticed that you found the avenue you have been looking for to start a new journey.  Perhaps you just met the right person to catapult you to the next phase of your life or has inspired you to begin a new adventure.  Well, if you have been feeling these feelings or thinking these thoughts, you may have found yourself in the midst of a Divine appointment!!!

A very dear friend of mine named Beth, suggested several months ago that I meet with another friend of hers named Julie.  Beth felt our "creativity" were meant to be together and she was right!

Julie and I have met several times to introduce ourselves and our ideas to one another and an opportunity presented itself to us today!  We took a journey to Timber Ridge Adventure Center off Highway 10 to tour the facility and see if we might like to host a retreat there.  Well, guess what?  We DO!

God's love surrounds us each moment of every day!  His provision is complete and secure.  God cares about the smallest things if we do!  I believe the Lord brought Julie and I together so that we could collaborate to bring fresh, new ideas to other people, particularly women over the age of 50, who want to explore, investigate and discover their strengths and goals as well as learn to refresh their spirit and rejuvenate their souls!!!

Divine - supremely good, majestic, magnificent, heavenly!
Appointment - an arrangement to do something or meet someone.  
These two things came together today!!!  The center is magnificent, serene, and lovely!  A perfect place to host a retreat and to refresh the souls of those who choose to journey with us!!!

Stay tuned...............invitations will be sent!!!

Adventure...

My sister, Cathi, gave me a wonderful topic to blog about today = Adventure!!!  Her thoughts got me to thinking and I know she will take her adventure in a different direction than I will, but she has inspired me to new ways of thinking about this thing called "adventure."  (Thank you, Cathi!!!)

What is adventure???  Well, the dictionary definition is:  Taking risks, an unusual or suspenseful experience, a venture, an escapade, a lark!!!  When was the last time you "took" an adventure or viewed life as an "adventure?" 

Be your own hero or heroine and go on an adventure today!  Be a dare-devil to try something new.......plot out a new path........go on a journey even if it is just to the grocery store! 

My mom used to do that and I thought she was crazy!  Here is a true story:  I was home in Ohio one trip and she asked me to accompany her to the grocery, so I got in the car with her and off she goes down the road right past the grocery.  After several minutes, I asked her, "Where are you going?"  She replied:  "To the grocery."  One more question from the peanut gallery (me):  "Did you know it was just down the block from where you live?"  She replied: "Yes."  My reply was:  "So, why are we going in the opposite direction?"  Her reply:  "To look at the neighbor's garden and to see if the trees in the park have blossomed yet!"  Wow.......my mom was on an adventure every day of her life!  And, she taught her four kids to do so as well....I believe her six grand kids "journey", too!!!  What fun, what an adventure, what a gift!!!

Now, consider this:
Escapade...it is a carefree adventure!  (I think I like that word!!!)
Lark.........even better!  It is a carefree romp or prank!  A spree or mischief!
Venture...a speculative or risky undertaking.  To brave the dangers of.  To express at the risk of denial, criticism or censure.
Venturesome...daring, bold!

Okay, so without getting yourself into TOO much trouble, be BOLD today!  Be venturesome!!  Go on an escapade - dare to be carefree!!! 
Spread a little mischief today wherever you go!!!

And remember, God goes with you and wants you to enjoy the adventure each moment you are alive!!!

Frantic Panic...

Okay folks, you all are aware of my ability to put WAY too much on my plate!  Well, this morning, I did the ultimate!  I woke up early, to unpack my rental car for work and find that I had left my laptop in Wichita at McConnell AFB yesterday!  So, frantically, trying not to panic (ha! ha!)  I took out everything in my car to make sure it wasn't there in my briefcase, etc.  Not finding it, I scampered around trying to get ahold of the person at McConnell to see if the laptop was there - I left her a message at 6:30 a.m., (texted and called) and did not get a response until after 8 a.m. - ugh!!!  Yes, those were 2 hours of total panic infused with deliberate attempts to calm down and trust God to help me....When she let me know that the laptop was no where to be found, I panicked even more, of course!  I got dressed in a hurry with the intent of driving to Wichita so that I could retrieve my laptop.  On the way, I kept trying to keep calm and pray for God's guidance as to where in the world I could have left it.  Knowing all the while, I had a very important teleconference today from 12-2 p.m. on which I need to utilize my laptop to gain access and finalize topics for the teleconference.  I HAD to have my computer!  Also, in the meantime, my work iPhone was not allowing me to have access to email, so I could not even find out what messages my boss had sent me to prepare for this call!  Panic, stress, frantic-ness prevailed!!!  I was a mess!!!
Finally, after getting dressed quickly, jumping in the rental car, and starting to drive down the highway once again, I prayed one more time:  "Please Lord, help me to remember where I laid the computer yesterday.  I stopped my car in a parking lot off Lackman and SM Parkway to check the bag I thought I had put the computer in............the same one I had checked a million times earlier this morning in my driveway!  And, guess what?  Low and behold, the slick top portion of the laptop was not very visible due to the black color on the black color of the bag.  It had been there all along!!!  I had just panicked and MISSED it!
WHEW...........what a lesson of chaos and trust!!! 

My grandmother had taught me a prayer years ago when I was little that has worked EVERY time I pray it:
"Okay, Lord, YOU know where _______ is......now show me!"  I am serious.  It works every time. 
IF ONLY I would slow down..........take a deep breath ( as I teach in my Stress Management classes!) and ask for help from the Lord of the Universe instead of relying on my own strength and frantic-ness.

Now, for the kicker!  After I found the computer, PRAISED the LORD with shouts of JOY, I came home to empty the contents of the Rental Car again.  This time, I placed my regular computer bag (with the computer in it) behind the car and took other items to my garage.  Then, I went around the opposite side of the car to get in to drive out of my driveway and return the rental car.  Klunk!!! What???  Get out of the car and see what was making noice..........Open trunk, check.  Nothing.........Get in the driver's seat, back up..........Thump!  Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch!  What?  What's that???  I pulled forward to find I had run over my computer bag - computer and all.  The bag I had left on the driveway as I carried other items to the garage.....and totally forgot in my hurried state.  My computer bag was UNDERNEATH the rental car!!!  UGH!!!  If I didn't know better, I would think that I LOVE LUCY still lives!!!  In ME!!!  Lucille Ball did NOT die in 1991 - she lives in ME!!!  YEP - these episodes actually happened between 6:30 and 9:30 a.m. today.........The good news is:  my computer is NOT damaged!!!  Once again, PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!

You might be thinking this could not have possibly happened to ONE person, but guess what?  It did.  All of it.  Every word is true.  Thanks to my own frantic behavior, and allowing panic to set in, I experienced one of the most stressful mornings I have had in a very, very long time.  And, all because I didn't trust.  I didn't stop.  I didn't allow the CALM presence of the Lord of the Universe to surround me.  I went on in my own strength......panicking......stressing........I did not allow the Comforting, Almighty, Loving Majestic Presence of God to fill me. CALM.  His Calm, His love, His sovereignty.

Finally, thanks to a phone call from a very special person named Tim, I calmed down.  Tim reminded me that God's love and order surrounds me.  I can trust Him.  I can rely on Him to calm me down and return me to a place where I can "Be Still and KNOW that I am God." (Psalm 46:10.)  What a gift!!!  What an incredible gift from the God of Creation.  To still the chaos by interrupting my frantic-ness with a phone call from a very special friend.  To remind me, I am loved.  I don't have to "push through" on my own.......I don't have to rely on my own strength...I don't have to "go it alone!"

Yes, there was at one point amongst all the chaos that I created today, when I calmed down and remembered one of my favorite scriptures:  Philippians 4:13 says:  "I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!"  Ahhhhhhhh, yes! That's the ticket!

Splash Transit...

Okay, the silliness has begun.............it's Friday morning and I am on vacation what do I start my day with?  Thinking about Splashes!!!  Why???  Because I am nuts, that's why!!!  So humor me, will you please?

I was driving down the road the other morning and looked over at the truck next to me carrying 7-Up products and what did the sign read?  Splash Transit!  That got me thinking as you can imagine!!!  How do we transport our "Splash" for God?  Do we spread it all around for others to see or do we keep it hidden inside an 18 wheeler??? 

Splash means to dash or scatter about in masses!  Okay, let's get going:  dash, splash, splatter, scatter, swirl, swash, spray, and sprinkle away!!!  Send out a flying mass of love!!!  Sprinkle a mass of joy in your corner of the world!!!  Send out a mass of peace to your neighbor that bugs you!  Swish past your impatience and give your kid or your spouse a mass of patience today - just because!  Scatter kindness and goodness!!!  Add a dash of gentleness next time someone hurts your feelings!  Swirl all the faith you have together and show the world the "masses" of gifts that God has given you!!!  Transport those gifts as "Splashes" to others and show how God has changed your life since you came to know Him!  And, last, but not least, offer NO self-control in spreading God's love!!!

Yep!  The fruits of the Spirit are yours to splash around wherever you today!!!  And, splash them again tomorrow and each day after that!!!  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-control - oops, I mean NO self-control on this one!!!

SPLASH TRANSIT - HERE WE COME!!!

Remembering our Fallen...

Memorial Day is a day of remembering our fallen soldiers and service members from World War I to today's conflicts across the globe.  World War I (WWI) was the "War to end all wars..." and yet here in 2014, we still have war torn cities, countries and families.  Everywhere. 

The good news is that we have brave men and women who serve our country with dignity, pride and honor every day in every branch of the Military:  Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and US Coast Guard.  They protect us in ways many of us are not even aware of and cannot fathom how they stay so strong and courageous.  Each week I go to Ft. Riley, KS for various events for my job and as I pass through the gate, a young soldier always says to me as they wave me through:  "Duty First."  Amazing....their first priority is my safety.  What an honor and privilege it is to serve our soldiers and their families at Ft. Riley. 

Last evening, Tim and I attended the Kansas City Union Station's "Celebration at the Station" to honor our military.  The KC Symphony played beautiful music with a performance that lifted our spirits and honored our Military Veterans and current service members.  It was wonderful and touching all at the same time.  Listening to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture  Solennelle, Op. 49 made me remember how important it is to honor and remember our Veterans from wars that happened before I was even born.  Lee Greenwood's song "God Bless the USA" gave me chills once again.  Amazing Grace and Taps gave us a reason to pause and reflect on the cost of freedom - our freedom.

We have had veterans that are our family members - our dads, brothers, uncles, nephews  - in our midst for over 100 years, just in the USA.  The beginning of WWI was in July 1914. Wow....100 years of people giving their lives for us, for me. 

If you or your spouse, or a family member is a veteran, I say thank you!!!  We owe you our lives, our choices, and our freedom. We have an enormous debt to pay you and gratitude swells up from the very core of my being.  I cannot thank you enough for what you have given me, my son and my family.

As I reflect on this Memorial Day, I pause and remember.....and won't forget the price that has been paid for me.